My name is Quack, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day feeding me crumbs. You are everything land going in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever walked around with webbed feet? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own lack of bills, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than feeding the geese.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the flock, and starter on my own migration V. What bird-like things do you do, other than "walking around like a duck"? I also get straight water resistant feathers, and have a banging hot birdfriend (She just groomed me, shit was SO quack). You are all mammals who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.